For better or worse I am mommy

For better or worse I am mommy –

In the journey of life we travel down all sorts of paths and come across endless doors to go through or not go through. This journey of life is all about choices, making choices and choosing which choice to make. In traveling on our journey we often wonder which way or direction to go. We consider which way is the right way or which door to open might be wrong or right for us in our life’s journey. Also in reflecting what to choice one may also pounder if I chose this door or path then what about the other one or if in choosing one or the other where will the one we chose lead us. Choices and choosing our choices can be most challenging and confusing. How does one go about figuring out, knowing and choosing the door to open or the path to follow. How do we know as individuals that the choices we make are the right ones and the paths we choose to follow are the correct direction to journey forward in our life. These are all question that anyone journeying through life must face and ask themselves about their course.

In my journey as a mommy I have found my journey much to be the same as it is in life. Being a mommy and going through motherhood I have found it is filled with endless choices, making choices and knowing how to choice which one and when to make them. These choices and making choices are in everything and every aspect of being a mommy form the small to the very big things. Becoming a mommy is the our first choice in a long journey of countless choices. We chose the name of our child and how to brig them into this world and about doctors and hospitals. We make choices about training, discipling of our babies and the life lessons we will teach them. We chose whether to breast or bottle feed and what type of formula, we chose whether to work or stay home and we if we work we have to choose between day care, the use or a nanny or if so fortunate then family for child care. We make choices about home school, public or privet school. We make choices about routine, schedules, bed time and feeding times. We choose things regarding tv, screen time, educational tools. We chose about quality or quantity in music, movies, tv, books video games, apps. We make decision regarding play dates where, when, how and who to have play dates with. There are numerous choices regarding food, diet and nutrition. I wonder if motherhood and parenthood shouldn’t be called choicehood there choices to be in absolute any and every area of being a mommy and our babies lives.

As mommies we have to make these choices with the best knowledge have at the time for our babies and our families. I know for me that what makes this such an incredibly hard process sometimes because I desire to do my very best and the utmost for my daughter and my family. There are often times in the midst of trying to figure out which way to go or and which choice to choose you don’t have complete information or there is simply no way to tell if that is truly the best decision. I know I have had many times and still do wonder did I really make the right choice that was best for my daughter and family. If I didn’t make the right choice what will happen, what will be affected and how will it affect other things and choices I have to make. Its almost like if as a mommy I was aimlessly and blindly journeying through my motherhood, This has made me wonder and question at times in the deepest part of my mind was my mothering or me as a mommy was I the best for my daughter and what if she had another mommy that wasn’t me, who didn’t make my decision or who wasn’t visually impaired and could do more for her. These moments of wondering and questioning were a consequence of one of my mommy valley moments and were much more common in my more virginal mommy moments and lessened as I grew into be being an experienced expert mommy regarding my daughter and family.

The answer to these question could it be that is to be found in my own journey itself. It is through my learning, growing, experience and traveling I find what I seek and the answer to the questions that I ask. Moreover the answers to be found in my own journey may reveal that in fact the answer is that regardless of the outcome of the choices I make as long as I am learning, improving, growing, experiencing and journeying on there is no right or wrong answer because it’s through my learning I will find what I seek. Furthermore it could be in my own evolutionary journey from virginal mommy to being the ultimate expert in my daughter and family that I figure out the choice, which choice to make and when to make and that my choices are the right choice for my daughter and family.

Thus as a mother as long as I strive to do my very best and utmost, always keep going, put one foot in from go the other, never ever quite or give up then I know I can continue to journey on and figure it all out and find my answers through doing the journey of motherhood. In and through my own journey as a mommy I will find and have the answers and solutions for my daughter and my family. Whether or not the outcome of my choices as a mommy is for better or worse at the end of my journey my daughter and family will have me and my love and know I did my utmost and very best and will stop at nothing to do so and journeying on and that is always for the better. Through it all the ups/down, virginal/expert, good, bad, ugly/highs/lows, mountaintops /valleys, positives /negatives I am her mama no one else I’m the only one and I will do my best for her and may that be enough. I’m still and always be here and love her no matter what and will journey on as her mama. May I always know and believe that my best is good enough and I have given my best and in doing that is what is better for my daughter and my family. May we always as mothers believe and have faith and confidence in ourselves, our own choices and our own rainbows of true colors and that is what is truly for the better of our babies sand families.